Motherhood is much harder than I anticipated. I'm not sure why, because I've always been drawn to babies and children. Perhaps I underestimated how tired I would feel - almost all of the time. Perhaps I didn't recognize the amount of patience that would be required of me with my independent but clingy 2-year-old. And certainly I didn't prepare myself for the uncertainties and fears that I sense about raising my children in this untethered society.
Lately I have been thinking about and recognizing that acceptance of these difficulties can take me a long way toward happiness. Every stage of motherhood offers different facts that I need to accept better. When I have a newborn, I have to accept interrupted sleep, even it's months longer than I anticipated. When I have a stubborn 2-year-old, I must accept that there will be tantrums as she learns to accept that she can’t always have her way.
As I accept the facts of my own stage of motherhood, my own circumstances and my individual girls, I don’t have to add surprise and frustration to the already difficult situations I encounter each day. I can go into a lot of situations prepared. When I wake up to a Abby's cries, I can think, “Yep, time for her to eat – a little early, but hey, babies can be unpredictable.” And each day, I can expect that there will be a time when both girls need something at once and tensions escalate. When that time arrives, I can think, “Yep, here it is. I knew we’d have a crisis sometime today, but things will calm down in a few minutes. They always do.”
Every stage of motherhood has its ups and downs. Every week and every day has its ups and downs. We might as well accept it and prepare for it where possible. And once I’ve got that acceptance and preparation in place, it’s a lot easier to enjoy my life.
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