I Guess That's Progress

Look at that face!  You would never guess that she has added a dreaded phrase to her vocabulary - DON'T.  Spoken with verve and attitude!  I have been trying to help Kate replace the phrase with a less harsh alternative: No, thank you.  I was wondering if it was even permeating that toddler brain of hers when we were sitting on the bed the other day together.  I was trying to finish a business email and Kate was pestering me with a question in only the way a sweet toddler can - asking over and over and over and over again until she gets the response she is looking for.  I turned to her and said "Chill out honey 'til Momma is finished" - to which she promptly replied "No, thank you!".  Well, it's a step.

...and that's good enough for now

I wondered today about whether or not I am putting my time in the right places.  There are SO many options of how I can use my time and I am very aware that where I choose to spend it may not be where others would.  Everyone has different priorities: some prioritize a clean home at the top of their list, others fitness.  Some prioritize cooking gourmet meals every night while others spend a lot of time on hobbies.  I am not pointing fingers at all.  I just realize that when I try to make everything a priority, then nothing is a priority.  I am finding that I am most satisfied at the end of the day when I have made my kids my priority - even when that means that other things are lacking.  I am trying harder to incorporate those important things back into my life better - cleaner house, exercising with my kids, doing my hobbies after they go to sleep, and cooking more at home.  But I love that I get down and dirty playing with my kids and that I take most of my time doing it instead of having them be bystanders to my others tasks.  Sure this will shift as my kids grow older but for now I can live with the toys on the floor while I give my kids my undivided attention.  It's fun being a part of their journey.

Surrender to the Music

Motherhood is much harder than I anticipated.  I'm not sure why, because I've always been drawn to babies and children.  Perhaps I underestimated how tired I would feel - almost all of the time.  Perhaps I didn't recognize the amount of patience that would be required of me with my independent but clingy 2-year-old.  And certainly I didn't prepare myself for the uncertainties and fears that I sense about raising my children in this untethered society.  

Lately I have been thinking about and recognizing that acceptance of these difficulties can take me a long way toward happiness.  Every stage of motherhood offers different facts that I need to accept better.  When I have a newborn, I have to accept interrupted sleep, even it's months longer than I anticipated. When I have a stubborn 2-year-old, I must accept that there will be tantrums as she learns to accept that she can’t always have her way. 

As I accept the facts of my own stage of motherhood, my own circumstances and my individual girls, I don’t have to add surprise and frustration to the already difficult situations I encounter each day.  I can go into a lot of situations prepared. When I wake up to a Abby's cries, I can think, “Yep, time for her to eat – a little early, but hey, babies can be unpredictable.”  And each day, I can expect that there will be a time when both girls need something at once and tensions escalate. When that time arrives, I can think, “Yep, here it is. I knew we’d have a crisis sometime today, but things will calm down in a few minutes. They always do.”

Every stage of motherhood has its ups and downs. Every week and every day has its ups and downs. We might as well accept it and prepare for it where possible. And once I’ve got that acceptance and preparation in place, it’s a lot easier to enjoy my life.

Priceless Chaos

I don't profess to be a writer.  And I certainly don't have the time right now to hone that skill.  I am keeping these "joyful snippets of life", as my mom says, as a way to document the wonder in the craziness of it all.  To more quickly recognize the moments in my life as a mother and wife that create the beauty - the celestine moments, if you will, that keep me grounded when I feel like crouching in a corner and wishing for something different.  To remember that I chose this life - and would choose it again in a heartbeat - most days...

Quick Friends

Sure, Abby understands that I am her source of life right now.  I am responsible for her sustenance, her safety and her general well-being.  She rewards me for this with a wonderful, even temperament.  The huge smiles and belly laughter, however, are saved for her true champion: the best big sister she could have asked for.  Kate loves coaxing a good laugh out of Abby and it doesn't take much for her to do it.  Abby is so quick to engage with Kate and they are becoming very good friends.  Kate is learning to share with Abby and loves to teach her new things or show her a newly-acquired 2-year-old skill.  It's times like these that make me grateful that I didn't wait too long to have Abby.  Who can resist a new best friend?

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

I was thinking today about some of the things I know I will miss when Kate grows up and out of what is now her pure, innocent desire for reassurance.  I will miss her saying "Hold-ey" while she puts her arms out and asks me to hold her close and tight against my chest.  I will miss her wanting to "cuggle" before she takes a nap or drifts off to sleep at night.  I will miss her nightly routine of a Baby Einstein "moomie", reading as many books as we will allow her to fit in, a prayer with her trying to repeat as many of the words as she can and then kisses all around.   But what I will miss most are the random moments throughout the day when she sidles up to me or snuggles in close, wraps those little arms around me and quietly reassures me with a beautiful "Hi Mama" or "Wub Wu".  I ache when I think about her growing up so fast.  Let me treasure this just a little longer...

Say What?!

One of the things I love about having a 2-year-old is seeing her language develop almost daily.  She is especially good at mimicking and using my language, both verbal and non-verbal, in her own communication.  Let me just say that we have had some funny moments around here.

Scenario 1: We were reading one of Kate's favorite pop-up books "The Very Funny Frog" and she accidentally ripped the head off one of the pop-up paper worms.  She got a very serious look on her face, turned toward me and suggested: "Book.  Owie.  Tylenol!"

Scenario 2:  I asked Kate what she wanted for lunch.  She suggested "Berries, cheese and peas".  I looked into our barren fridge and didn't find any of those.  I told her that we didn't have those and suggested some other possibilities.  She shook her head and declared "Mama, Costco!"

Scenario 3: We often go for walks in the morning and enjoy walking down the street to visit Teton, our neighbor's golden retriever.  The other day we passed his house and he wasn't in the yard.  Kate said "No Teton.  Shoot!"

Oh what fun it is to ride, with a 2-year old learning to express herself.